The total cost of dividing up Belgium into a couple of regional state entities is estimated at 7 billion Euro. That is what I read in the newspaper today. This information is pitched to the Belgian people at a serious moment of national despair.
Belgium has a difficult time pulling its head out of its arse. The country consists of four regions separated by sharply perceived language frontiers – Dutch, French and German – and has been unable to form a government for it’s federal apex. From what I see in the press, the different language groups are unwilling to cease their childish bickering, a vital necessity to keep their Monarchical Federation together.
Allow me to offer one of the obvious solutions: cut that sorry excuse for a country up into its constituting parts and divide the parts over the bordering countries. I think that many of my Dutch country folk – and me – would love the prospect of having two very large sea ports at our disposal: Rotterdam AND Antwerp. And we’ll be adding some very snazzy pubs, restaurants, beaches and resorts to our leisure-resources. That is, of course, if Flanders is added to our southern territories to become our 13th or so province.
Wallonia and Brussels can be left to the French, a country in acute need of extra space to house the illegal immigrants currently populating their overfilled Banlieux, and the rest can be added to Germany, a willing neighbour that would see a long standing wish for territorial expansion to the west fulfilled.
Which Roman emperor was it again, who called the country “Belgium” after “Bello Gallico”, which in turn translates into “Beautiful France”? (Answer: None. It translates into “Beautiful War”. But the Belgians were the beautiful French for one of these emperors…)
Ecco! Another Italian who sets those French straight, this time by praising their northern neighbours on being better “French” (if that is a compliment at all…) It’s a tradition I gladly perpetuate, although I do feel sorry for them.
They try and they try, and still they can’t even dream of reaching the level of quality in their wines, food and women, not even with the help of a very elaborate “appellation” (over)-rating system for their filthy moonshine.
Another advantage this operation would bring is the eradication of one more royal house from the European landscape. The fewer, the merrier, I’d say. And the Belgian crown has one of the most flamboyant, extravagant and prodigal princes in its stock of heirs. It is not long ago that this flabby layabout was connected to some very nasty corruption cases. Good riddance, I’d say.
So, here we see the dream of any republican fulfilled by the people of Belgium, although they might have wanted it otherwise themselves. Their inability to look beyond their pathetic quarrels over the importance of their languages, a phenomenon not unlike the sick religion- induced violence in Ireland, might lead to their country getting sliced up and a royal house becoming obsolete.
Now, what more could we ever want?
