On instigation of my brother Rob, who was with me on my last visit to our little home hamlet Almadis, I am reading the book “Italian Neighbours” by Tim Parks. One evening, we sat outside on the doorstep, contemplating the ins- and outs of village life, exchanging the little gossip we knew, while drinking some fresh wine. It turned out that my father was entangled in a local dispute about something futile.
As futile as it was, the matter had been keeping the minds of many people exercised. I won’t go into any details here, but in relation to that minute but very hot issue, my brother remarked on the narrow-mindedness of the Italians. Now that was a surprise to me, because I always had a weak spot for the uncomplicated social conduct of the people in Italy, whereas I associated the opposite of this, in the Netherlands, with the narrow minded Dutch attitude. It even has its own proverb here: Holland op z’n smalst… (Holland at its narrowest…)
It seems that the Dutch are not so narrow minded after all, but rather on the contrary: they are flexible and tolerant with regard to the opinions and insights of others. “Let’s agree to disagree…” is a very Dutch expression in that respect.
So, I am reading this book by Tim Parks, and besides wetting my pants laughing every now and then, it indeed paints a very accurate picture of the Italians, as far as I can gauge that. It all came back to me: the super regulated life, the uncompromising belief in the own opinion, and the relentless social control. The Dutch like to complain a lot, especially about the “regulatedness” of life in this country, but they are actually dead wrong. In Italy, a place where one would expect everything to be more loosened up, regulations are way more abundant, strict and – regularly – ridiculous.
Parks takes me to Italy as an outsider, a spectator who looks at a show from a side balcony. He makes me forget that I am “one of them” and that I am actually laughing at myself. On the other hand, I fully recognise the sometimes clear idiocy, described with cringing precision, as a feature of my own history in that country.
I have a problematic relationship to Italy and the Italians. The country is beautiful and rich, but the rigidity of the people and the silly way they govern their country is a major turn off to me. But I must also admit that I like their temperament and their directness.
After reading this book, one understands more, but if one will come to like it still remains the question. The book is in any case very entertaining.
